Il bel far niente. It's Italian for the beauty of doing nothing, which is exactly why I have no balance in my life. I can't sit idle. I never do things for myself and myself alone, and I run, run, run without taking time to savor, time for pleasure, time to just sit and listen to the world.
I am reading a great book, Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Funny, we were in Target recently and when I looked on the endcap of the book section, I saw that I have read 2 recent NY Times Best Sellers. I typically don't read books because they make that list. I talk to people about what they are reading, and what was good. Lately, though, at the library, all I have time to pick are books from the table up front, as I help my 3 daughters negotiate the library and pick just the right books for them. So, in the moments we are checking out, I grab books that look interesting off this front table. Turns out this must be a recent bestseller table.
This book is really helping me see some things about my life, like the absence of il bel far niente. However, I think half the reason I go go go all the time is that I have all these things I still want to do in my life, so I half expect that when I get done with my obligations, I will have time to do these things. I consider myself a lifelong learner. Not just with things I have to learn and update for work, but life experiences. For instance, I want to learn to sail. When I retire, I want to spend my idle days sailing on some beautiful Adirondack lake when Brian is golfing or fishing. I want to glide accross the lake, listen to the loons, and enjoy the beauty of the mountains. I want to sail my boat alone, and spend some time with myself. That is just one glimpse of the things I still want to learn in my lifetime, I have many more.
I guess I figure there will be time to be idle in my life and do nothing, and these are the days that I don't get that luxury.